The Wow Factor

                                         

If you're up to date with me so far, you might be wondering what exactly it is I'm looking for in a man. I think as far as relationships go, I want the same thing everyone else in the world wants. Honesty, compatibility, laughter, and great chemistry. But where do you start? You start at the beginning, obviously.

I want "The Wow Factor." I don't want to trudge through 5 or 6 dates with a guy because "sometimes you have to give the spark time." I don't want to spend that kind of time waiting, wishing, hoping, FORCING the spark to ignite. I want to be wowed, and I want it to happen right now. Like, within the first few minutes of conversation. Immediate. Now. Pronto. I want to leave the date already counting down until the next time we get to hang out and then get giddy like a 14 year old girl when my phone buzzes with the next text message. (Bonus points for telling me how pretty I am...often. Even with this mountain on my cheek. Yeah, I still get zits. I blame my mother. Love you Mom!)

Too much to ask? Let's hope not.

So to me, The Wow Factor includes some particulars, and probably some things that I really don't know about yet, because sometimes, you just can't put your finger on what "it" is.

Instant Attraction
I'm sorry if you think I'm shallow for saying this, but I want to look at the guy who walks in the door and think to myself, "Yessssssss." How do I define "attraction?" I'm not sure. It's not always the same answer and there is not one single universal characteristic that defines attraction for me. Sometimes I will find a man attractive and it surprises me. It's just that indescribable thing that draws you to another person. If I don't see that in you, almost immediately, I'm sorry, but I probably won't invest much time. It's better for the both of us that way. (And by the way, if you have snaggleteeth...don't even get me started. I'm sorry your parents didn't spring for orthodontics when you were 13, but you're a big boy now, go get your teeth straightened out. Dentistry has come a long way.)

Tall...Enough.
Typically, I like to be able to wear heels and NOT feel like the jolly green giant. If you tell me you are 5'9", and I wear 2.5" heels, and I am towering over you, you are, most certainly, not 5'9". At least be honest with me...and for the love of God, yourself.



AMAZING Conversation
I don't care if we are talking about our latest vacations, or favorite sports teams, or what to order from the menu, or the color of my nail polish. If the conversation doesn't flow, I am done. The "problem" I seem to run into is that I can carry on a chat with just about anyone. (Stranger at the bar? My new best friend. Server in the restaurant? Invited to her baby shower.) I can turn on the charm and humor and make even a slug laugh and think I'm captivating.

But don't forget: Just because a woman is nice to you, it does not mean that she wants to go home with you at the end of the date, or maybe ever. She might just be nice to everyone, and lucky you, she was nice to you too. Would you have preferred your date to say something like, "Wow you're a lot less cute than your pictures." Or, "I was expecting something totally different." Or, "Yeah, I can totally see why you're still single." We aren't trying to draw you into our evil web just to squash your hopes later, we just try to be nice all the time.

Anticipation
Like I mentioned above, I want to leave the date hoping that I get a text from him on the way home. Have I been guilty of being to eager? Sure. Who hasn't? (Go ahead, raise your hand...exactly.) But hopefully, the anticipation and excitement is equal too, and you're as excited to see me again as I am to see you. Of course, the world is an imperfect place, and not all matches are made in heaven. You might feel stronger about me than I do about you, or I might think we had a good thing going when you were kind of luke warm. It's okay...take a deep breath, and move on. That's what I'm learning to do.

Moral of the Story?
I won't know if we together have The Wow Factor until...well, until it actually happens...if that makes any sense. For me, it's either there or it's not, and I know it almost immediately. I can make it through a date for an evening, even if the spark isn't there, and I can be nice to my date, but that doesn't mean I'm wowed. (Hell, I might even use the ol' "We should do this again sometime!" ala Chandler on Friends. Sorry, I didn't mean to lie to you, I was just trying to be nice.)

Am I picky? Yes. I've made it through 30 years of singledom, and I have earned the right to be picky. I see no reason to settle for "just okay" at this point--when what I really want is to be knocked square on my ass when the right one comes around.

Comments welcome as always. Got a story of your own? I'd love to have some guest bloggers to prove that I'm not alone in the struggle! Email me at cincyshenanigans@gmail.com. If you like me, follow on the right and share with your friends! :)